I HATE HIM.

I hate him for being so stupid.
I hate him for being so selfish.
I hate him for being so rude.
I hate him for being so hot-tempered.
I hate him for hurting her so many times.
I hate him for causing her to suffer.
I hate him for causing the family to pay for the wrongs that he did.
I hate him for being so irresponsible.
I hate him for being so naive.
I hate him for bringing us so many troubles.

Many times, I tried telling myself not to hate him.
Because no matter what, he's the one that 'created' me, he gave me my allowence, he fulfiled part but not all of what his responsibility as a father should be.

After that countless times of disappoinment, false hope, giving up on him, trying not to bother.
But in the end, I will just end up having that hatred towards him. No matter how hard I try to tell myself not to, how much I try to tell myself not to care.

Divorce is so common nowadays.
But why cant my parents just get a divorce?
Since young, I'm different from other kids.
Never in my life I hope for a 'happy' family.
Since the day I knew what's happening, I hope for a divorce for them.
But they never did. Even till now.
Even when the whole wide world have given up on him.

I want to get out of this vicious cycle.